therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize