I want to stick my p in your. b.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
