is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
