I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
