I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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