this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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