Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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