He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
