they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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