I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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