so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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