It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
