people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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