The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
