i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
