They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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