between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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