she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
