Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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