I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
