They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
