Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
