Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
