i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
