just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There r osticjed everywhere
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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