we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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