So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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