I wish you could order shots online.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
