I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I didn't shave. On purpose
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
