Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My vagina is very pro this idea
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