O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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