so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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