WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
