Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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