He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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