He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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