Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
