the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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