from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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