I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
