he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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