What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
