He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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