Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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