I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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