i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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