My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
