...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
