C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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