I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
