eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
