I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
