i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
