Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
