So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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