I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
