we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Say something about gay babies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
