Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize