In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
