I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
