i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
