dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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