Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
