I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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